It’s summer and, if your parents are going to go away for the evening you’re probably thinking it would be a good idea to have a party. It isn’t but you’re not going to pay attention to me and go ahead and have a party anyway so, once the festivities are over, here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way that will help you clean up and hopefully prevent any breakages in the first place.
Before the party starts:
Put all the plants out doors, put all your parents lame ornaments into storage in the garage or shed, if you don’t have one of these, under the stairs. If you live in a bungalow I can’t help you, why would you invite people over anyway?
Put all of the family glassware away as well and buy a bunch of plastic drinking vessels while you’re out buying the booze since you know your friends will always ‘forget’ to bring their own and certainly never enough to share.
But I’m drifting, the point here is to avoid detection, and if not detection, damage that could result in loss of privileges.
Don’t put the party on Facebook, no matter how private you think you make it, it WILL get out. It’s not an urban myth, I know people it’s happened to; if you don’t want to see your own bedroom door being used to fuel a bonfire in your front lawn, NO FACEBOOK!
No red wine. You young ‘uns aren’t so much into the rouge so it shouldn’t be a problem but if some-one does turn up with a bottle be very VERY wary, not only will a spill be impossible to get out, their puke stains too. And that’s a hundred times worse to tackle.
When it comes to that actual cleaning of the house you have to start cleaning as soon as the last guests have left. You might think it’d be nice just to go straight to bed, beginner’s mistake. If anything’s been spilled, and it will have been, giving it eight hours to sink in and dry out is the last thing you want to do. Throw out all the drink dregs or they’ll make your house stink like a brewery and put all the plastic cups and the bottles out for recycling. If your parents are due home before the recycling collection comes, take it round the corner at least, although preferably you’ll have some big recycling bins that you can use.
If you were dumb enough to let people smoke in the house you’re going to get burns on the carpet. This isn’t as insurmountable as your naA?ve mind fears. When you have a burn in the carpet, leave it till the morning when you’re sober. Then grab yourself a very sharp knife, like a craft knife and cut out the burn. Now you have an even worse hole in the carpet, what are you going to do?
Move the sofa and cut out an equal sized piece form the pristine carpet you find there. Glue it carefully into place so that it doesn’t get vacuumed up next time you have to do your chores and you’re home free. If the colours don’t match don’t make the mistake of cleaning the rest of the carpet better, nothing smells like a rat worse than you being diligent without being asked. Instead, find a shoe and grind it into the clean spot until it’s gone.
When drinks like cola and cherryade get spilled wipe them up immediately with a cloth, they’ll leave a mark but that’s on, get soapy water and rinse that stain out. Once all the colour is out you’ll be left with a big wet patch, the quickest way to deal with it is to get a bath towel, cover the area and stamp on it hard until all the moisture is gone.
Another mishap which may easily befall the party house is make-up, either accidentally or deliberately, getting onto walls or flooring. The most important thing is when it comes to carpets is not to let it spread. If lipstick is ground into the carpet over the affected area in paper towels and apply a hot iron. The paper will absorb the excess while the low heat will soften the wax, now pour lighter fluid over the area and put down clean paper towels over the area, again, apply a low heat and repeat until the mark is faint. Only now should you begin scrubbing with a brush and detergent.
Follow these basic rules and next time you have a party you might just get away with it. Maybe.